Ch-ch-ch-changes

Ch-ch-ch-changes: Common Misbehaviors (That Are Totally Normal) at Every Age

One of the first books many women buy when they find out they’re pregnant is What To Expect When You’re Expecting. After the baby arrives, so does the next volume in the series: What to Expect the First Year.

Somewhere around two years of age, families start reaching out to me (a parenting coach) for advice—the books aren’t quite enough anymore. They’ll tell me that their toddlers are constantly misbehaving. Their once totally adorable, dependent, and compliant little baby now refuses to eat certain foods, wakes up at night, acts impulsively, refuses to share, says ‘no’ all the time, and does the opposite of what is asked.

Here’s the thing: Just like learning to sit, crawl, and walk, the above behaviors are perfectly normal developmental milestones. The difference is that when babies take their first steps (a move toward independence), we smile and clap. When they don’t do what we ask (also a move towards independence), we may frown or yell.

I believe that it’s tremendously empowering for parents to know what behaviors are developmentally appropriate at each age, because it helps prepare them for the behavior changes that are coming. Knowing the sorts of things children might do, think, and say at different stages can help parents see many “misbehaviors” for what they are: a normal part of a young child’s physical, social, emotional, or cognitive development.

Developmental ages and stages continue with each passing year. It’s helpful to keep these in mind as your child enters elementary school and the pre-teen years, because our children will continue to exhibit behaviors that you may find—to put it bluntly—totally annoying. Here are a few of the common ones at each year in a child’s development.